The Voice of Truth

When God speaks, I try to listen.  When I hear His words directly, I pay attention.   When He speaks the same words to my friends, and tells them to pass the message along, I know He really wants me to “get it.”  

I got this text from a friend this week, “Cathy, I heard from God today that he is taking you through this to give you a new level of strength.   When you are helping people with similar circumstances, you will be equipped to in turn, fill your patients with strength and inspiration.   This strength and inspiration will come from a place of true understanding and compassion.”

                                                                                                                                                          

When I graduated in August and finished my nursing school clinicals on August 29^th, I thought I was finished with my schooling.    God had a different plan for me to continue my studies in caring, kindness and compassion through my diagnosis of breast cancer.    I wasn’t finished with school, I have another class to complete.   The class of “Being There”.   This is the hardest class I have ever taken.  I hope that I can truly learn from this lesson and put what I have learned into practice as I begin my nursing career.

God spoke these same words to me, and also through others many times over the past four months.  I  heard the words and experienced many different emotions as a result:  pain, frustration, anger, fear and, finally, gratitude.   I am grateful and honored that I have been chosen to learn the lesson of strength, caring, kindness and compassion first hand.  I vow that I will do my best to learn these concepts and apply them in my present and future personal and professional life.  This will require a significant amount of faith and trust in God, and the love and support of my friends and family.

When you are standing on the edge of a cliff, peering into the canyon, it helps if there is a guardrail in front of you.   When you are diagnosed with cancer, it feels like the guardrail has been torn away, and therefore, you cling with all of your might to God and to those who stand beside you.  

Even while clinging to God and the dear ones with me at the edge of the abyss, I feel fear.

I am grateful for that fear, for it is teaching me to accept the love and kindness of others and to put my trust in God.    He is pulling me back from the edge of the cliff.   My tumor is shrinking and most likely will be completely gone by the time I have finished my last six weeks of chemo on December 4^th.   Then I will face surgery four weeks after that and radiation treatment to follow.   All the while, I will be learning my lesson.

“Do not fear, for I am with you;  Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10.

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.”  Deut.  31:6

STAND UP 2 CANCER NOW!

October is "Breast Cancer Awareness" month and I have been doing some research into the “search for a cure”.

Since being diagnosed with breast cancer this past June, my “awareness” of cancer has become very heightened and personal.   Even before that, I was no stranger to cancer, as I have known many dear friends and family members with cancer.   To say that I am “aware” is putting it rather mildly, as I enter my fourth month of chemotherapy and face some type of surgery and radiation to follow afterwards.

My question has always been, “If so much money has been raised in all these years to find ‘a cure’, then why hasn’t a cure been found?”  This question used to hang out in the back of my mind.  These days, I find it in the front of my mind a little more often.   

The short answer to the question, “Where is the cure after all this time and all this money has been raised?”  (over $2 billion dollars to date), is that only a small percentage of the revenue raised by some organizations is actually utilized for research to discover a “cure”.  The foundation that sponsors the “race for the cure” and the “wear pink” campaigns allocates less than 20% of its revenues to research.    

The rest of the money goes to education and treatment, which is fine.    However, I personally feel it is important to realize their revenues do not primarily fund the search for a “cure” for cancer.

It’s up to you to decide whether donating to an organization that primarily funds research for a cure for cancer is important to you, or not.

I would respectfully urge anyone who is embracing the cause of a “cure” for cancer to be very mindful as you raise money, donate money or support organizations for “the cure” to read their financial statements and see for yourself what percentage of their revenue is used for research.   

The mission of the organization, Stand Up 2 Cancer, is to “fund collaborative, translational cancer research to bring treatments from the bench to the bedside faster, and save lives now.  This makes Stand Up 2 Cancer unique and more importantly, 100% of their revenues are allocated to cancer research.    Stand Up 2 Cancer is looking for new therapies, across ALL CANCER TYPES.  Not just breast cancer.   

Please investigate this innovative research organization and read about the opportunities for you to Stand Up 2 Cancer.....for a cure for ALL cancer......

www.standup2cancer.org/

When the answer seems impossible, stand up
When the dream is right within our reach, stand up
When the powerful refuse your call, stand up

The moment is now and the time has come to stand up.
One out of every two men
One out of every three women
will face these diseases we call cancer.

Our sisters, our brothers, our fathers, our mothers,
our husbands, our wives, our children.
Our very best friends and those we’ve yet to meet.

One person every minute, one person in a moment gets lost, gets stolen, gets taken away.

This is where the end of cancer begins.

A new level of destiny

"Don't be discouraged by difficulties.   Rather, be encouraged by the trials that you face.  For on the other side of the difficulty is a new level of destiny."

During a tough time in my life, I used to play a CD by Graham Cooke over and over in my car on the drive to work.   My favorite part was   "The lower that God takes you, the higher He will raise you up." 

These quotes give me hope, when times get tough.   I know that God has big plans for my future.  When it feels like the odds are stacked against me, or I am just tired and don't really feel like pushing through, these reminders shine a light on my path.  God never promised there would not be trials or difficulties.   "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  John 16:33.  

We are all walking through something in life that may be more challenging than we bargained for.   Each and every one of us has had to face adversity.   Look around you today, your brothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, classmates and acquaintances are all struggling.   Big or small,  there are many roadblocks in life.   I am writing today to encourage you and even challenge you to "Be the Light".   Encourage other people.   Share a smile with someone who is stressed.   Say a kind word.   Share a kind touch.   Build each other up.    Don't forget your friends who are struggling with difficulties that seem never-ending.  They need your friendship, kindness and hope more than ever. 

The kindness and friendship that has been extended to me in the last 90 days, since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, has been overwhelming to me.   The encouragement of my friends has sustained me and given me a reason to get up each day and fight.   It means the world to me.

I fully acknowledge and admit that I am a selfish person.    I think of myself so much more than I think about others.   I am so guilty in this area, but I want to do better.   I want to be an encouragement to my friends and loved ones.  I think that deep down, we all want to help our friends.  

I am challenging each of you that reads this today to dedicate your week to helping another person, being the light for another person, just being a soft place to land for someone who needs it.   Let's take the focus off of ourselves and turn it onto others.   I know that the blessings we reap from these acts of kindness will be abundant.    

I was born for such a time as this.

   The text message I received from my big brother this week said, “I would not expect you to meet this challenge with any less courage than it took for Dad to jump out of that hedgerow into a bunch of Germans and start shooting…..”  Thank you for that reminder, Dale.
 

   My father, Quentin Latta, enlisted in the U.S. Army after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.   He trained and became a paratrooper, serving with the 101^st Airborne.   He jumped into Normandy on D-Day, June 6, 1945.   Many of the U.S. paratroops landed nowhere near their intended drop zone that dark morning.  My father ended up much farther north than the planned DZ, but he did not know that.   He did not see a single other Ally that night or for the next three days.  When he started walking to the rendezvous site he was travelling in the opposite direction.  He travelled for 3 days, at night, and laid down in fields of grain during the day to camouflage himself and rest.  

   On D-Day +3, Daddy heard German voices and saw them sitting in a circle below him.   His written account stated that since he had been sent to France to kill Germans that is what he decided to do right then and there.   He jumped out of the hedgerow into the middle of the circle of Germans and began shooting.

   That is how the Lattas do.

   My father was shot and captured by the Germans that day, but later liberated in Cherbourg, France, by the Allies and went on to fight in the Battle of the Bulge, Bastogne, Belgium in December of 1945. 

   After my head was shaved this week, my childhood friend, Denise, exclaimed that I looked just like my Dad.   I feel that it is quite fitting that I will go through chemotherapy looking like Quentin Latta.   I will try to make him proud of me.

   A kind, thoughtful, young man sent me the link to a Youtube video this week of a man fighting a much, much, bigger fight than mine.  He has been fighting a rare, aggressive cancer for the past seven years.  He is facing the fight with courage, grace and determination.  It is Stuart Scott of ESPN's Sport Center.

 

 Stuart advises, “Don’t give up. Don't EVER give up.”   He also stated this, "You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live."   I, too, am living life with cancer on my own terms with the love and support of my friends and family.

     

 

My wonderful, supportive, class at the Head Shaving Bash! 

 

Blessed be the LORD, my rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle; My loving kindness and my fortress, My stronghold and my deliverer, My shield and He in whom I take refuge. Psalm 144

    In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.² Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.³ Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Keep me free from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Psalm 31:1-4

 

 



"In the end, only kindness matters."

     It often seems to me that words of wisdom come to me in the words of a song.  

                            “In the end, only kindness matters.”

    This was the week of kindness for me.   I started my capstone (final clinical experience) in nursing school this week at a new medical center and was so thankful to be welcomed by kindness and friendliness.   Each person in the department where I am working here in Olathe, Kansas was patient and nice to me this week as I learned new skills and procedures.   These nurses have no idea that I was diagnosed with cancer four weeks ago.  

    Let me assure you that clinical settings are not always the kindest or gentlest of places. Nurses can be tough and sometimes not very welcoming to students.  I am very thankful for this capstone placement, as it will allow to me to finish my hours to receive my BS of Nursing without being exposed to infectious disease, as my immune system is compromised during chemo.

    A lesson that I am learning in this experience is that you will never know what another person is going through as you meet strangers or even friends on a day to day basis.   One simple act of kindness or grace can change a person’s day and give them hope.  Taking the time to be patient with someone or be kind to them may have an impact that you will never know.  

    Take the time.   Be kind.   Give hope.

    I could never have made it this far in my accelerated nursing program without the kindness of my hosts for the year, Rick and Denise Bullock and Bradley, Rachel and Emma Grace.   Their kindness, support and generosity to me this year has been the foundation that has sustained me through the most challenging year of my life so far.  I will never be able to thank them enough.  

    'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' "The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'  Matthew 25:39-40

 

Hit 'em again, hit 'em again, harder! Harder!

Since I am currently in nursing school, (graduation is in 4 weeks and 6 days!)  I have already studied some things about cancer and chemo.   Be that as it may, I have not delved into tons of research on the type of cancer that is my diagnosis nor the statistics and trials, etc.   I admit I have looked a few things up, as I am looking for positive stories, positive information, and validation from those who have beaten cancer -- and there are many, many such stories of women (and men – yes, men get breast cancer, too!) who have lived long, full lives after treatment. 

You see, I am a person who believes in the immense power of positive thinking.  I am declaring victory over this diagnosis, over my story, and over my life.  I am not discouraged, for God is with me.  He will never leave me nor will He forsake me.  I am not dismayed, for I walk in triumph at the right hand of God.  

Last night though, I did do some research into my chemo as I am getting a “dense dose” of two chemo drugs, known as “AC” and was interested to learn a little more about it.   A “dense dose” is getting chemo every two weeks instead of every three weeks to better fight the fast-growing cancer cells.   When I read about the chemo drugs and my treatment regimen, a cheer that we used to use in high school football came to mind,

“Hit ‘em again, Hit ‘em again, harder! Harder!”  

It’s kind of a mean-spirited cheer, I realize now, but it is entirely appropriate for fighting breast cancer.   It will be added to my mantra as I am being infused with “AC”. 

Why was I doing this research?  Mainly to find out if I am really, really, definitely, going to lose my hair.   If that sounds shallow to anyone out there, I am not going to apologize.   It’s a big deal to me and most women I know.   But that’s okay.   The answer is yes.  Most definitely.   The “A” in the “AC”, also known as the “red devil” is definitely the hair loss chemo drug.

Now, I am not entirely bummed out by the prospect of losing my hair.   I spend a fortune in time and money maintaining my lovely locks (and also waxing and shaving the hair I don’t want – what is up with that?) and I am not going to miss any of that.   I have teased the lovely ladies in my class who wear wigs and get weaves all year long that I wanted to shave my head and wear wigs so that I can change my hairstyle whenever I want.   Well, I guess I got my wish. 

So that’s okay. My bff from high school is coming up next weekend to take me wig shopping.  My amazing colleagues in my Accelerated Nursing Cohort are going to throw a head shaving party for me and I am going to try not to cry. I am sure there will be a lot of emotion.  But there will also be a lot of freedom, knowing that the process means I am fighting the cancer cells and beating them out of my body with the “red devil”.   In the words of Harley Tuttle, “Just take a deep breath and say, ‘To hell with it’.”

 To hell with you, cancer!  Buh-bye.  

 “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”  Phil. 4:13

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  II Timothy 1:7

“IF GOD IS FOR ME, WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME?”  Romans 9:31

“Be still, and know that I am God.”  Psalms 46:10

Choosing to be blessed, claiming my healing.

 

Choose to be blessed.

 

"All things work together for good for those that Love Him and are called according to His purpose."

 

I am in the last module of my 1 year accelerated nursing program and just have to finish my last set of clinicals - 14 shifts specifically and two classes and will be graduating August 15th.  This year, I have struggled and triumphed in earning an Accelerated Bachelor of Science in Nursing with the goal of becoming an RN in sight!  My life was put on hold when I moved to Kansas to enter nursing school and this has been not only the Hardest Year of My Life, but the Best Year of My Life.

 

On June 19th,  I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I will begin chemotherapy July 10 and it could be a challenge for me to finish my clinical work.  I will get chemo on July 10, 24, August 7 and 21 during my clinicals.    My Christian professors have all rallied around me and are willing to work with me and I can have extra time to finish clinicals after graduation August 15th  if I need them.   I will be returning to Colorado by the end of August and finish my treatments there, close to my friends and family.   Allie, my 20 year old daughter,  is returning to the US on July 15 and will join me here in Kansas City for a time.  She does not know I was diagnosed with cancer, as I want to tell her in person when she arrives in KC.   
 

So many of my friends, family, professors, fellow students  and church family are praying for my healing, strength, wisdom and guidance to finish my classes and clinicals.   I have already felt the incredible impact of these prayers and good thoughts.   Positivity is my mantra and choosing to be blessed in this process is my goal.   

My prognosis is good as the cancer has not spread or metastasized and I will be fine after my course of treatment, at this point I am looking at 8 rounds of chemo and then hopefully a lumpectomy and radiation.  

I can already feel prayers of love and support!   Some amazing things have happened to me in the past week!  

First of all, I was so fortunate that my brother and his wife were visiting her family in KC when I got my diagnosis last week.   They were able to go to my dr apt with me. My sister-in-law Debbie is a 3 time cancer survivor.  She gave me a lot of advice about chemo, including having a massage after each chemo treatment, to remove the toxins from my system,  Debbie was able to work full time during the entire course of her 8 months of chemo treatments.  This gave me great hope to finish my classes and clinicals! 

 

One of my professors connected me with another teacher at the university who had breast cancer 4 years ago and is cancer free and also worked through her entire course of chemo.   I got advice about a gel that will help me save my eyebrows and eyelashes and advice about when I am going to lose my hair (yes there will be a head shaving party July 23rd).  Other survivors have offered their wigs and moral support.

 

On the Fourth of July, my sister in law invited me to their family gathering, where I had the opportunity to visit for a while with her 84 year old father, Harley Tuttle.    Harley's insight and wry humor created a paradigm shift in my outlook.

 

Harley informed me, "I  have had cancer three times and had chemo every time, it never affected me at all.   It was no big deal."  He went on to say, (and this is MY FAVORITE PART)

     " Just remember, when they stick you with the needle the first time, take a deep breath and say, 'To hell with it!'  ...   Chemo works, so don't worry about it. You are going to do fine." 

I am so blessed that God has put the right people in my life at this time. 

 

As I navigate this small change in the course of my nursing school program, I know and believe that, "All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose."  And that means ALL things, even cancer.  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard you heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. "

 

Remember God loves each of us with a GREAT and powerful Love.   He only wants the best for us.  

 

Today and always, I decree, declare and claim:   "I walk by faith and not by sight.  I walk in triumph at the right hand of God.   I walk in victory." 

I know that I have a call on my life to return to Nicaragua and help build a shelter there for women. 

I am choosing to hope in the Lord, to rejoice always and to pray without ceasing.   I will focus on the things that are good in this process, and I will assure you that I have already been extended much love, prayer and kindness by those in my class, my instructors and my health care providers.   I am very blessed.  

"For I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.   Plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jer.  29:11