Showing posts with label blessing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessing. Show all posts

Friday, October 30, 2020

Traveling in the Light

Earlier this year, I was forced to leave my home in Wichita, Kansas and take a travel nurse position because of COVID-19.  Contrary to what anyone would have predicted during a global pandemic; contract nursing, per diem nursing and travel nursing contracts were terminated in central Kansas as all elective procedures, tests and surgeries were cancelled.  Contributing to the lack of need for contract nurses was that people feared going to the hospital this past spring, and being exposed to COVID-19.



Having travel nursed in the state of Washington the two previous years, I chose the Seattle area as my destination and was fortunate to find a cardiac telemetry contract in an excellent hospital, but for the first time I would be in the "float pool".   Float pool nurses agree to be sent to virtually any unit in the hospital, except for labor/delivery and pediatrics, which are units that require specific training and certification.

My 13 week travel contract was executed with a hospital east of Lake Washington which had 10 different units where I eventually "floated", sometimes three times during a 12 hour shift.  Adding to the stress of residing and navigating in a new city and hospital, was attempting to learn to work on 10 different units in the hospital, including units that cared for COVID-19 patients.  

Float pool nursing requires knowing specific protocols and procedures for each unit, such as the stroke protocols and requirements on the admitting stroke floor in the hospital.  In addition, floating requires learning where all equipment, medication and supplies are kept on each unit, along with the names and jobs of staff from housekeepers to patient care techs, fellow RNs and charge nurses, all whom you have never seen before, and are wearing masks continuously.  

Every morning, I would arrive at the hospital at 6:30 am, don mask and goggles in my car, enter the hospital, answer the obligatory covid questions and have my temperature taken before reporting to the staffing office, where the list of float pool nurses and their assignments was posted on the bulletin board, just like the list of homecoming candidates in high school.  As I walked down the hallway, I prayed for favor and grace in my assignment for the day.  The first days and weeks of this assignment were emphatically the most stressful of my nursing career.

Oftentimes, even though I was on the schedule for the day, my name wasn't on the list and I'd have to enter the staffing office and ask to be assigned for the day.  Frequently as well, I would walk to the unit assigned on the list only to be told I was floating to a different floor on the other side of the hospital.  This was a stressful and anxiety-inducing time because I knew noone on the floors and oftentimes was ignored by the charge nurses when I reported to the units.  I chalked their indifference to the pressures and tension created during the global health pandemic created by the coronavirus.

Many friends checked in with me during the first weeks of my relocation and new assignment and my kind, supportive brother lent a listening ear as I called him from the car every night after my 12 hour shift, processing the highs and lows of my days as a float pool nurse in a new hospital.  

My prayers for favor and grace were heard as I made friends on the various units of the patient care techs, nurses and other travelers who helped me find supplies, locate equipment, figure out how to contact doctors and most importantly deliver care and advocate for my patients.

The single common thread throughout this assignment, which I extended from 13 weeks to a total of 26, were the people who needed care during the tension and uncertainty of a global pandemic, during which visitors were not allowed in the hospital and many patients were afraid for their lives.  Many of my patients expressed their fears and needed a listening ear and comforting touch during their hospital stay.  I was blessed to happily provide these reassurances and thankful that I worked in an essential industry in a job that allowed me to interact freely and closely with others who needed my care.  

I have been thankful each and every day, no matter how trying the assignment I had, for being able to continue to work closely with others and care for the most vulnerable and at-risk people this year.  I am ever grateful to be a nurse and so very humbled to be a part of the force of healthcare providers and essential workers each year, but especially during the challenges and uncertainty of 2020.  

Wednesday, March 30, 2016



God Moves in Mysterious Ways
“God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence,
He hides a smiling face.”

This is just three verses of this beautiful profound hymn that God placed on my heart this week. 

I am a cardiology nurse on a floor where we monitor our patients’ hearts with a wireless telemetry “box” attached to 5 leads on their chest.  We are a cardiac floor, but occasionally cancer patients are admitted to my floor.
I almost always am assigned the cancer patients by chance……   God moves in a mysterious way.  

By God's grace, a beautiful woman was admitted to my floor who had breast cancer 19 years ago and just during the past year, the cancer metastasized to her liver, lungs and brain.  Her comment to me, over and over, as I admitted her last Monday night was, “I can’t do this anymore”.  She was weak, in pain, couldn’t breathe without supplemental oxygen and had a horrible headache that would not go away… most likely from the lesions in her brain.

As I admitted her to the floor, I did everything that I could to make her comfortable.  Earlier this fall, she had agreed to a clinical trial of a new drug for breast cancer metastases, which she believed made her worse.  She was done.   I told her that I had been through treatment for cancer and that I knew a little about the way she was feeling

I got her heated blankets, because when you are on chemo, you are freezing all the time.  I got her extra pillows for her arms, back and bottom, because when you have lost so much weight during chemo, there is no fat on your butt or bones for padding and it literally hurts to sit in a chair or bed or a bathtub.   I got her crackers and mashed potatoes, because those were the only things that she could stand to eat. 

I did everything that I could possibly think of to make her comfortable, and I called the doctor and got her the strongest pain meds possible for her excruciating headache.   She confided to me that she has an adult handicapped daughter at home.  I cannot begin to explain why God would allow this woman to have cancer.

But I can, just for one shift, empathize with her, listen to her, and try to do the simplest of things to make her more comfortable.

Thank you, dear Lord for placing me in the most humbling, gratifying position of being a nurse to the sick, the poor, the elderly and the homeless.   I am truly blessed beyond all possible measure.   And every day, I am grateful.

 
William Cowper was a British poet and hymnist. He struggled throughout his life with depression, doubts, and fears.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Choosing to be blessed, claiming my healing.

 

Choose to be blessed.

 
"All things work together for good for those that Love Him and are called according to His purpose."
 

I am in the last module of my 1 year accelerated nursing program and just have to finish my last set of clinicals - 14 shifts specifically and two classes and will be graduating August 15th.  This year, I have struggled and triumphed in earning an Accelerated Bachelor of Science in Nursing with the goal of becoming an RN in sight!  My life was put on hold when I moved to Kansas to enter nursing school and this has been not only the Hardest Year of My Life, but the Best Year of My Life.
 
On June 19th,  I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I will begin chemotherapy July 10 and it could be a challenge for me to finish my clinical work.  I will get chemo on July 10, 24, August 7 and 21 during my clinicals.    My Christian professors have all rallied around me and are willing to work with me and I can have extra time to finish clinicals after graduation August 15th  if I need them.   I will be returning to Colorado by the end of August and finish my treatments there, close to my friends and family.   Allie, my 20 year old daughter,  is returning to the US on July 15 and will join me here in Kansas City for a time.  She does not know I was diagnosed with cancer, as I want to tell her in person when she arrives in KC.   
 
So many of my friends, family, professors, fellow students  and church family are praying for my healing, strength, wisdom and guidance to finish my classes and clinicals.   I have already felt the incredible impact of these prayers and good thoughts.   Positivity is my mantra and choosing to be blessed in this process is my goal.   

My prognosis is good as the cancer has not spread or metastasized and I will be fine after my course of treatment, at this point I am looking at 8 rounds of chemo and then hopefully a lumpectomy and radiation.  

I can already feel prayers of love and support!   Some amazing things have happened to me in the past week!  

First of all, I was so fortunate that my brother and his wife were visiting her family in KC when I got my diagnosis last week.   They were able to go to my dr apt with me. My sister-in-law Debbie is a 3 time cancer survivor.  She gave me a lot of advice about chemo, including having a massage after each chemo treatment, to remove the toxins from my system,  Debbie was able to work full time during the entire course of her 8 months of chemo treatments.  This gave me great hope to finish my classes and clinicals! 
 
One of my professors connected me with another teacher at the university who had breast cancer 4 years ago and is cancer free and also worked through her entire course of chemo.   I got advice about a gel that will help me save my eyebrows and eyelashes and advice about when I am going to lose my hair (yes there will be a head shaving party July 23rd).  Other survivors have offered their wigs and moral support.
 
On the Fourth of July, my sister in law invited me to their family gathering, where I had the opportunity to visit for a while with her 84 year old father, Harley Tuttle.    Harley's insight and wry humor created a paradigm shift in my outlook.
 
Harley informed me, "I  have had cancer three times and had chemo every time, it never affected me at all.   It was no big deal."  He went on to say, (and this is MY FAVORITE PART)
     " Just remember, when they stick you with the needle the first time, take a deep breath and say, 'To hell with it!'  ...   Chemo works, so don't worry about it. You are going to do fine." 

I am so blessed that God has put the right people in my life at this time. 
 
As I navigate this small change in the course of my nursing school program, I know and believe that, "All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose."  And that means ALL things, even cancer.  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard you heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. "
 
Remember God loves each of us with a GREAT and powerful Love.   He only wants the best for us.  
 
Today and always, I decree, declare and claim:   "I walk by faith and not by sight.  I walk in triumph at the right hand of God.   I walk in victory." 

I know that I have a call on my life to return to Nicaragua and help build a shelter there for women. 

I am choosing to hope in the Lord, to rejoice always and to pray without ceasing.   I will focus on the things that are good in this process, and I will assure you that I have already been extended much love, prayer and kindness by those in my class, my instructors and my health care providers.   I am very blessed.  

"For I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.   Plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jer.  29:11