When God speaks, I try to listen.
When I hear His words directly, I pay attention. When He speaks the same words to my friends,
and tells them to pass the message along, I know He really wants me to “get it.”
I got this text from a friend this week, “Cathy, I heard from God today
that he is taking you through this to give you a new level of strength. When you are helping people with similar
circumstances, you will be equipped to in turn, fill your patients with
strength and inspiration. This strength
and inspiration will come from a place of true understanding and compassion.”
When I graduated in August and finished my nursing school clinicals on
August 29th, I thought I was finished with my schooling. God had a different plan for me to continue
my studies in caring, kindness and compassion through my diagnosis of breast
cancer. I wasn’t finished with school,
I have another class to complete. The
class of “Being There”. This is the
hardest class I have ever taken. I hope that
I can truly learn from this lesson and put what I have learned into practice as
I begin my nursing career.
God spoke these same words to me, and also through others many times
over the past four months. I heard the words and experienced many
different emotions as a result: pain,
frustration, anger, fear and, finally, gratitude. I am grateful and honored that I have been
chosen to learn the lesson of strength, caring, kindness and compassion first
hand. I vow that I will do my best to
learn these concepts and apply them in my present and future personal and
professional life. This will require a
significant amount of faith and trust in God, and the love and support of my
friends and family.
When you are standing on the edge of a cliff, peering into the canyon,
it helps if there is a guardrail in front of you. When you are diagnosed with cancer, it feels
like the guardrail has been torn away, and therefore, you cling with all of
your might to God and to those who stand beside you.
Even while clinging to God and the dear ones with me at the edge of the
abyss, I feel fear.
I am grateful for that fear, for it is teaching me to accept the love
and kindness of others and to put my trust in God. He is pulling me back from the edge of the
cliff. My tumor is shrinking and most
likely will be completely gone by the time I have finished my last six weeks of
chemo on December 4th. Then
I will face surgery four weeks after that and radiation treatment to
follow. All the while, I will be
learning my lesson.
“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your
God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you
with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah
41:10.
“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble
at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail
you or forsake you.” Deut. 31:6
